Sunday, December 23, 2007

2007 draws to a close

So, being the eternally picky lover that I am, I think I have finally succeeded in learning to channel my sex drive into creative energy. I am still far, far from that mindset which many spiritual gurus seem to have, which is that of replacing sex with creativity or something, and that is very definitely not a goal for me, but it is a huge relief to be able to cope better. I'm also just functioning better as a human, on all levels. That's why this blog has been dead. After the chap who preferred to watch Sky News than fuck me, nothing was going on here.

However, this year did unexpectedly perk up near the end. There was a brief but pleasant roll in the hay with a former lover whom I have described in these pages before; we were both insanely tired, and it was more of a token "I still find you attractive" kind of encounter, but it was still very nice. And then there was a far more exciting new experience - yet another work liaison, but harmless and quite thoroughly delicious. I walked away from the experience feeling suffused with an incredible, positive energy, inspired beyond belief, in awe of the beauty of the world, and somehow infused with this very amazing man's mojo. I'll write a drippy sexy entry about it some other time and veil it in enough mystery to be unrecognisable to him, should he ever come across this blog... funny, I let him see my true self and we exchanged something on a very important level, but I would keep this blog a secret from him, and all my other lovers? Would any of them recognise themselves? Why do I still feel compelled to come back here and write about these things if they are so secret? And what was it about this creature and our encounter that felt so different to me? Was it just me with my newfound strength and solidity, or did something more than pheromones pass between us? Is there anything more than pheromones?

Time to meditate on these questions. And again channel all that mojo into creativity.

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