Help! I'm losing my sparkle!

And this time I don't think I can buy a replacement in the stationery emporium.

In my current situation, where my swain makes no attempt to bed me and is reticent when I try it on with him, I've found myself putting a cap on my normally very healthy sex drive. This is having serious consequences for my general mental health and well-being. I didn't even mean to do it - but it happened because I have to look at him every day, which turns me on hugely. I used to arrive home from work crying with frustration and pent-up sexual energy when he didn't invite me back. And because this is just not sustainable and the whole having to look at him thing isn't going to change for a while, instead of talking to him about it, I've just somehow managed to squash my libido.

I feel horrible, dull, unsexy, unattractive and tired. Very tired. Energy is constantly going out, and not being put back in.

How do you ask someone why they don't want to sleep with you any more? Is there even any point in a fledgling relationship? For me, anything is a reason to have sex. Headache? Woke up at 7 am and can't get back to sleep? Eaten mayonnaise today? Stuff to do in the morning? Heading to the gym? All fantastic reasons to have sex. Seems like he's the other way round, though.

Something's got to give.

Eating? More like starving.

It must be me. I must be able to change this. I'm a high-roller, an achiever, I'm teacher's pet (in more ways than one). I WILL get 100% on the exam!

Here's my problem: I seem to have landed myself in a relationship, and even though everything started out just peachy fine, he doesn't seem to want to sleep with me any more. It hasn't even been long, but when I try to drag him into bed - or keep him there - or turn a kiss into something more, he would always rather do something else. Like talk about work. Or make coffee. Or talk about our friends. Or sleep.

It's making me strangely sad. I know that if I were in a relationship with me, I'd want to fuck me all the time. I DO fuck myself all the time, because I'm so damn frustrated to be around someone I'm so attracted to, whom my body has delirious memories of, whom i don't get to touch and taste. The other day I spent the night with him and woke up in the middle of the night with actual pain in my cervix from being so aroused by his presence. I get so wet just being near him, like I haven't done since my first boyfriend when I was a teenager.

He's affectionate and sweet and thoughtful. If I have the slightest change in mood, he detects it; he reads me well and won't accept my immature inability to talk. And yet I feel like he can't be that into me, because he isn't into being in me.

Our sex, when it does happen, is very intense, and he is always the first to put into words what I'm feeling (kissing at a bridge, my knees grow weak and I am dizzy; before I can even formulate the words in my mind, he has said them). He's not afraid to make me laugh in bed. He kisses me on the head or ruffles my hair or tweaks my hand as he goes by me.

And he won't fuck me.

I know I have to talk to him about it. But I'm not good at talking and for all my interest in and love of sex and all its effects on the human mind, I have no idea how to approach someone who behaves like this. I can't identify with how he operates. When I'm stressed or distressed, I use whatever is available to dull the pain, to add sparkle to my day, to distract me from whatever it is that I don't like and can't change, or am working on, or whatever. I can't imagine having a lover near me, whom I like, and not wanting to bury myself in their aura if only even as an escape.

I know, I know. He's just not that into me, right? But he behaves like he is in all the other ways. And somehow, even though I'm sure I would advise any friend whining to me about a similar situation to jump ship, I feel compelled to dig further, to wait it out. I've always had a higher sex drive than my partners, but this really takes the biscuit.